Well, here I am at the end of another year, taking stock and looking ahead.
I didn’t do too badly keeping up with the blog this year. I did let things lapse through the fall, but that was because I was focused on other things besides my art. I’ve kept myself busy getting a few personal & domestic duckies in a row, and I have accomplished much in my absence. Yay me!
Everything has been in chaos these last few years while I slogged through a long & painful grieving process, and the end of this year has been about finding my footing and organizing the elements of my life to fit into my new normal… or, more accurately, getting out of the way and allowing things to coalesce around this new normal. At long last, I feel as though I’ve finally come out the other end of a long, dark tunnel into daylight!
I think my first steps toward engaging with the world again were taken in Misty Mawn‘s Stretching Within workshop last January. It was, as promised, a place to stretch, have a welcome reunion with my muse, and begin to shrug off the weight of stagnation I had been hiding under. It set me off an a year of online workshops – some of which I shared with you here & some I did not. It was a year of going back to school in a sense… of learning how to enjoy art and life and creativity again, a year to relearn how to be fully present in my own life in ways I feared I could never rediscover.
I started 2011 with the intention of stretching myself and that is what I have done. I have discovered new pieces of myself and rediscovered old ones. I have adopted new routines and purged unhealthy ones. I have allowed myself to be grateful for all that I have instead of obsessing over what I have lost. I have allowed myself to just be, and to let that be enough.
Now, as the year draws to a close, I find myself looking forward to the next with unexpected energy. I am excited to move ahead now that I have mastered standing still in this strange new terrain.
To that end, I have decided to begin 2012 with Misty Mawn as my guide once more. I am looking forward to the beginning of her Open Studio workshop on January 9th with great joy and anticipation!
She has posted some content already & given us a writing assignment to start us off.
Our prompt was I am here.
I thought I would end this post by looking ahead to the new year’s journey by sharing…
Before I was in darkness, wandering lost & afraid… but now I am here.
Before I was broken, paralyzed with loss, no voice to sing… but now I am here.
Slowly – oh, so slowly – the ground has settled once more beneath my feet & I am once again ready to take my first tentative steps, to plunge into this new normal. I am here.
Aching to spread my wings and fly at last, to glimpse the light of the sun again. Face upturned to the wonder of this fresh day.
I am here.